5secrets.pdf
Sunday, May 31, 2009
5 Simple “Secrets” To Becoming a Peaceful, Prepared and Prosperous Single Parent
I came across this youtube video the other day posted by Single Mama Diva. I thought the video provided some great insights for single moms. She also has a free e-book she is distributing.
5secrets.pdf
5secrets.pdf
Monday, May 18, 2009
A Movie Every Black Woman Must See!
From Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry, comes the movie Precious based on the book Push by Sapphire. This riveting movie reflects some of the struggles women in our community go through. It's powerful, riveting adn will definitely pull at your heart. I hope this movie can serve as a lesson that all of our children deserve love and that parenting is about more than birthing a child whether you're a mother or father. I hope it will also help us to realize that when things aren't right at home for a child that it's up to the community to help that child see the beauty and the goodness in his or herself.
Friday, May 8, 2009
The Death Of Our Children
Every time I hear about the death of a young person murdered on the streets of inner-city America, I’m often reminded about the murder of my own brother 13 years ago in St. Louis, Mo. Although most of us are shocked by the brutality inflicted on the streets in urban areas throughout this country, I’m not. I’ve lost my own brother to violence and, as a child growing up in inner city St. Louis, I’ve attended too many funerals to even keep count. Sadly, the only way I am able to remember to this day is to count the number of obituaries that have piled up on my closet shelf.
I recently read an article that highlights the epidemic of violence that so many youth often fall victim to. What’s happening in the city of Chicago illustrates the point. With about three months left in the current school year, the number of Chicago Public School students slain totals more than 30 and already exceeds the total for all of last year.
While most of the killings have taken place on neighborhood streets and not during school hours, it is incredible to imagine that in a school year 30 school children could have been the victim of violence. But let’s be clear: the problem of youth violence is much bigger than the public school system. It is truly a community issue that requires the resources and efforts of parents, schools, teachers and community members who refuse to harbor criminals or provide an excuse for the violence in our communities.
Truthfully, I’m heartbroken by the number of children we lose each year to violence and the fact that this has been an ongoing problem for years with no signs of slowing. I have no idea if at the end of the day anyone truly cares about the suffering inflicted in our inner-cities. Maybe it’s the cynic in me who has seen this violence spiral for years with no signs of stopping. Maybe it’s the sister in me who has lost a brother to violence or maybe it’s the mother in me who has sons that refuses to allow them to be statistics. All I know is it’s time we do more. That we say enough is enough. The problems and violence are too rampant to allow this type of behavior to continue.
I could spend the rest of this post on the issue and the solutions but I believe we all know what they are. For once, I would like to take some time for us to remember the victims because it’s important to show a human side to the statistics, the heartache of mothers and fathers and families, and the devastation to our communities that stems from the death and potential of so many youth who could have transformed our communities, and even our world, in ways we can’t imagine or will never know. And for this, we should all feel sad. We are all failing our kids.
Click on the link below to take a look at the gallery of photos of Chicago Public School children who’ve lost their lives to violence this school year
Chicago Public Schools student deaths
See also video of 15 year old shot, beaten and burned.
I recently read an article that highlights the epidemic of violence that so many youth often fall victim to. What’s happening in the city of Chicago illustrates the point. With about three months left in the current school year, the number of Chicago Public School students slain totals more than 30 and already exceeds the total for all of last year.
While most of the killings have taken place on neighborhood streets and not during school hours, it is incredible to imagine that in a school year 30 school children could have been the victim of violence. But let’s be clear: the problem of youth violence is much bigger than the public school system. It is truly a community issue that requires the resources and efforts of parents, schools, teachers and community members who refuse to harbor criminals or provide an excuse for the violence in our communities.
Truthfully, I’m heartbroken by the number of children we lose each year to violence and the fact that this has been an ongoing problem for years with no signs of slowing. I have no idea if at the end of the day anyone truly cares about the suffering inflicted in our inner-cities. Maybe it’s the cynic in me who has seen this violence spiral for years with no signs of stopping. Maybe it’s the sister in me who has lost a brother to violence or maybe it’s the mother in me who has sons that refuses to allow them to be statistics. All I know is it’s time we do more. That we say enough is enough. The problems and violence are too rampant to allow this type of behavior to continue.
I could spend the rest of this post on the issue and the solutions but I believe we all know what they are. For once, I would like to take some time for us to remember the victims because it’s important to show a human side to the statistics, the heartache of mothers and fathers and families, and the devastation to our communities that stems from the death and potential of so many youth who could have transformed our communities, and even our world, in ways we can’t imagine or will never know. And for this, we should all feel sad. We are all failing our kids.
Click on the link below to take a look at the gallery of photos of Chicago Public School children who’ve lost their lives to violence this school year
Chicago Public Schools student deaths
See also video of 15 year old shot, beaten and burned.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
What Should Happen To Parents Who Can No Longer Pay Child Support?
The economy seems to be taking a toll on everyone these days. One of the issues that is seldom discussed is the extent to which laid off parents can no longer meet t heir child support obligations. NPR had an interesting piece on this issue.
Click to Listen:
What are your thoughts?
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Does Having A Boy But Wanting A Girl Make You An Unfit Parent?
Three days after having her baby boy Luke by C-section, Karen Piper was ready to take him home to the nursery she had lovingly prepared. But instead of getting the typical discharge papers to fill out, Piper was visited by uniformed police, a social worker, a psychiatrist, and assorted doctors and nurses.
Her baby had been placed on "medical hold" while government investigators considered whether Piper was fit to take Luke home. She had failed to bond with her baby, a nurse told Piper.
Why? Right after delivery, when she was woozy and exhausted, Piper mentioned to her doctor that she'd been hoping for a girl.
A nurse-practitioner told Piper that it was awful that a new mother could be disappointed not to have had a girl. "She told me the burden was on me to prove that I should be allowed to take my baby home," says Piper, a lawyer who works at the U.S. Department of the Interior.
Washington Hospital Center spokeswoman Paula Faria says medical personnel "have a legal obligation to report to local agencies any concerns staff have about discharge of a patient, and especially little newborns." She says it was the medical staff's "professional recommendation that we had to take steps to make sure the best interests of the baby were protected. We really believe we did do the right thing."
Eventually, Piper was able to take her son home, but only after a very stressful week.
Taken from Cafe Mom Website. Three days after having her baby boy Luke by C-section, Karen Piper was ready to take him home to the nursery she had lovingly prepared. But instead of getting the typical discharge papers to fill out, Piper was visited by uniformed police, a social worker, a psychiatrist, and assorted doctors and nurses.
Her baby had been placed on "medical hold" while government investigators considered whether Piper was fit to take Luke home. She had failed to bond with her baby, a nurse told Piper.
Why? Right after delivery, when she was woozy and exhausted, Piper mentioned to her doctor that she'd been hoping for a girl.
A nurse-practitioner told Piper that it was awful that a new mother could be disappointed not to have had a girl. "She told me the burden was on me to prove that I should be allowed to take my baby home," says Piper, a lawyer who works at the U.S. Department of the Interior.
Washington Hospital Center spokeswoman Paula Faria says medical personnel "have a legal obligation to report to local agencies any concerns staff have about discharge of a patient, and especially little newborns." She says it was the medical staff's "professional recommendation that we had to take steps to make sure the best interests of the baby were protected. We really believe we did do the right thing."
Eventually, Piper was able to take her son home, but only after a very stressful week.
Reprinted from Cafe Mom Website.
Her baby had been placed on "medical hold" while government investigators considered whether Piper was fit to take Luke home. She had failed to bond with her baby, a nurse told Piper.
Why? Right after delivery, when she was woozy and exhausted, Piper mentioned to her doctor that she'd been hoping for a girl.
A nurse-practitioner told Piper that it was awful that a new mother could be disappointed not to have had a girl. "She told me the burden was on me to prove that I should be allowed to take my baby home," says Piper, a lawyer who works at the U.S. Department of the Interior.
Washington Hospital Center spokeswoman Paula Faria says medical personnel "have a legal obligation to report to local agencies any concerns staff have about discharge of a patient, and especially little newborns." She says it was the medical staff's "professional recommendation that we had to take steps to make sure the best interests of the baby were protected. We really believe we did do the right thing."
Eventually, Piper was able to take her son home, but only after a very stressful week.
Taken from Cafe Mom Website. Three days after having her baby boy Luke by C-section, Karen Piper was ready to take him home to the nursery she had lovingly prepared. But instead of getting the typical discharge papers to fill out, Piper was visited by uniformed police, a social worker, a psychiatrist, and assorted doctors and nurses.
Her baby had been placed on "medical hold" while government investigators considered whether Piper was fit to take Luke home. She had failed to bond with her baby, a nurse told Piper.
Why? Right after delivery, when she was woozy and exhausted, Piper mentioned to her doctor that she'd been hoping for a girl.
A nurse-practitioner told Piper that it was awful that a new mother could be disappointed not to have had a girl. "She told me the burden was on me to prove that I should be allowed to take my baby home," says Piper, a lawyer who works at the U.S. Department of the Interior.
Washington Hospital Center spokeswoman Paula Faria says medical personnel "have a legal obligation to report to local agencies any concerns staff have about discharge of a patient, and especially little newborns." She says it was the medical staff's "professional recommendation that we had to take steps to make sure the best interests of the baby were protected. We really believe we did do the right thing."
Eventually, Piper was able to take her son home, but only after a very stressful week.
Reprinted from Cafe Mom Website.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Letter To My Father
Qunicy Brown, the son of Al B. Sure, recently posted a letter on Global Grind about the pain he has felt surrounding the absence of his biological father in his life. (See letter at http://globalgrind.com/content/587030/A-Letter-To-My-Father-Al-B-Sure/)
The personal nature of the letter is heartbreaking and speaks to what so many children feel when their father fails to play an active role in their lives or even acknowledge their existence. Yes, I will say it now and a hundred more times, there are plenty of good fathers out there doing the right thing but for that one child whose father is nonexistent, none of that matters. All that matters, is there father isn’t one of those men. There is no biological father to hug them, to clothed them, to sit in the front row of their performances or even to call dad.
But let’s be honest. All too often, the importance of fathers is often devalued in our society. I don’t know if it’s because our society has so many children being raised by single mothers or because there are so many dead beat dads, but whatever the reason, this letter reiterates the need for children, and even the desire of children, to have an active, loving relationship with their fathers, and this desire expands every racial group and socio-economic status. Children really need that relationship with their father, especially young boys, because it’s about their identity, trying to help identify the man they will become and relates directly to their sense of self love.
What makes this letter from Quincy Brown more powerful and representative of the desires of our children is that he had a father figure in his life for years in the form of music mogul Sean “P. Diddy” Combs. Combs has dated Brown’s mother Kim Porter for years and they share three children. Many people would think having the ever popular Combs as his father and experiencing one of the best lives a child could have would lessen any pain he had about the absence of his own father. However, it just reiterates that children, no matter how rich or poor, long for the love and recognition of their biological fathers.
The only real difference between Quincy and most other children whose fathers are absent is he has access to a forum that allows his story to be told. But don’t be mistaken, his story is filled with the pain, hurt , confusion and anger felt by many kids and to that effect I hope Letter To My Father will open the eyes of any father who has not vested in the life of their child.
The personal nature of the letter is heartbreaking and speaks to what so many children feel when their father fails to play an active role in their lives or even acknowledge their existence. Yes, I will say it now and a hundred more times, there are plenty of good fathers out there doing the right thing but for that one child whose father is nonexistent, none of that matters. All that matters, is there father isn’t one of those men. There is no biological father to hug them, to clothed them, to sit in the front row of their performances or even to call dad.
But let’s be honest. All too often, the importance of fathers is often devalued in our society. I don’t know if it’s because our society has so many children being raised by single mothers or because there are so many dead beat dads, but whatever the reason, this letter reiterates the need for children, and even the desire of children, to have an active, loving relationship with their fathers, and this desire expands every racial group and socio-economic status. Children really need that relationship with their father, especially young boys, because it’s about their identity, trying to help identify the man they will become and relates directly to their sense of self love.
What makes this letter from Quincy Brown more powerful and representative of the desires of our children is that he had a father figure in his life for years in the form of music mogul Sean “P. Diddy” Combs. Combs has dated Brown’s mother Kim Porter for years and they share three children. Many people would think having the ever popular Combs as his father and experiencing one of the best lives a child could have would lessen any pain he had about the absence of his own father. However, it just reiterates that children, no matter how rich or poor, long for the love and recognition of their biological fathers.
The only real difference between Quincy and most other children whose fathers are absent is he has access to a forum that allows his story to be told. But don’t be mistaken, his story is filled with the pain, hurt , confusion and anger felt by many kids and to that effect I hope Letter To My Father will open the eyes of any father who has not vested in the life of their child.
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