Send All Welfare Moms To Jail

This past weekend at a friend’s party, I became engaged in an interesting
conversation with a business man who was bemoaning about the so-called “great
life” of welfare moms: women receiving government assistance either in the
form of a government check or food stamps. In his words, “they get free
health insurance, nice government subsidized homes (known as Section 8 housing) for little to nothing, free day care for their children and food stamps.

As more and more people gathered to listen to the conversation, his anger
grew more intense and he opined how “these” women contributed to the decay of
our society. For god sake’s he exclaimed: “these women do nothing but sit at
home all day, watch television, won’t help their kids with homework or go to
their children's schools and often spend the government money on themselves rather than their kids. “Nope,” he snarled, “they get paid by us to do nothing but have
more kids that they refuse to take care of!”


Pretty soon the others, who had gathered, joined his battle cry. Some even
complained about how they have worked for several years and paid taxes
dutifully but have never been able to get government aid to help them pay for
health insurance, their kids daycare or receive food stamps to feed their
families when they needed extra help. Then out of no where someone stated:
welfare moms should be in jail because some of the stuff they do is downright
criminal.

While others laughed, I realized how much anger there is toward welfare moms
and the system for giving people a so called “free ride.” While I think to
some extent the anger is misplaced, the truth is I understand their concerns to some extent. There are many women on welfare for which government assistance is just a
transitional phase. They’ve lost their spouses, their jobs or they are
working moms who still fall below the poverty level and the government should
assist them.

Yet, the truth is there are plenty of other women who are second or third generation welfare recipients and have no expectation or desire to get a job or do more with their lives because government aid is their livelihood. For these individuals, government assistance is no longer support for the child but adult support, and it’s the latter group toward which I believe most of the anger is directed.

Even so, my only complaint with the crowd that had gathered to gripe about
the state of our country’s welfare system is that no one held the father’s
responsible for their behavior. The truth is many of these women are also
receiving welfare because a good deal of men have refused to step up and take
responsibility for their children so I personally believe the blame lies not
only with women but also with men and our society which rewards the wrong
type of behavior: that of something for nothing. I personally believe the
real problem with our government aid system is the absence of expectation.
Many people who receive government aid aren’t expected to do anything in
order to get or continue receiving the aid: not work or even go to school.
And as the saying goes, no one rises to low expectations.


So if we want something different than we need to change expectations. I
think the government should establish a transitional period (2-4 years)
whereby individuals in need of government aid can receive assistance. The
time period should be sufficient enough to enable individuals to build a
solid foundation to support their children so that they can get off aid.

After that period of time, anyone who wishes to continue receiving aid must earn it. This can be done by requiring individuals to perform government jobs, join the military and learn a trade or volunteer in high need areas such as schools, shelters, etc. for so many hours each year as a precondition to receiving aid.

Additionally, the system should do more to penalize fathers who don’t financially support their children. After all, if welfare moms should be in jail so should the fathers who’ve financially abandoned their children. After all, government aid is about providing assistance for the children and if both parties are failing to provide for their children, it’s only fair society treat them in the same manner.

Not All Children Are Created Equal

Normally, head coaches are fired for losing games. This, however, wasn’t the case with the head coach of the Covenant School, a parochial school in Dallas, Texas, who was fired last week for disagreeing with school officials who had publicly apologized for the team’s 100-0 victory over Dallas Academy, a school for special needs students.

The 100-0 win has sparked a bit of outrage. Many felt the 100-0 win against special needs children was an insult and that the Covenant School team should have dialed downed the competition so as not to embarrass the other team. In fact, the school administration in firing the coach surmised that the win didn’t reflect a Christ-like and honorable approach to competition. No one, however, argues or even suggests that the Covenant team coach or basketball team was in anyway boastful or disrespectful to the other team. Their only sin: they shouldn’t have won by so much as it was not sportsman like.

What? Unsportsmen like to win! To try your best, to give your all. Somehow these girls and this coach should be remorseful for this. I’m sorry but I disagree. This was not a case of a coach and a team trying to humiliate special needs children. No one asserts that. Rather, the argument is these are special needs children and it was obvious the Covenant team would win but why did they need to win by so much. I mean come on. Is this political correctness gone amuk or what?

I personally, think it is those who are outraged, including the Covenant School administration, who owed the students at Dallas Academy an apology. After all, they are the ones who are treating Dallas Academy students as different and somehow deserving of special dispensation. The Covenant School basketball team didn’t make this distinction. They treated Dallas Academy team as their equals. They didn’t see special needs kids but their rivals, competitors in their own right.

In the end, it is sad because part of the value of sports is that it encourages youth to do their best and to engage in sportsmen like behavior. It teaches the value of showing grace in losing and compassion in winning. However, the lesson that both the students at Dallas Academy and Covenant School have learned are quite different and has nothing to do with winning or losing but with society’s own belief that special needs children shouldn’t be seen as equals.

Now Reach For The Stars!

Nowadays, you can’t turn on the television or read a newspaper without hearing or reading about the downturn in our economy. What once seemed like economic hardships that were limited to a certain industry or geographic region, now seem far reaching affecting not only the entire United States but many nations around the world. Even once believed to be reliable companies like Microsoft and Google haven’t been spared the effects of a downward spiraling economy.

As moms, it is natural for us to feel a bit of anxiety and fear. After all, we’re living in uncertain economic times. Even so, I personally believe now is as good a time as any for us as moms to use the current state of affairs to take control over our destiny and chart our life’s course. After all, nothing is guaranteed but your anxiety certainly can be lessened when you have some control over your future.

If you haven’t already done so, take today to do the following:

1. Set some time aside-an hour or two-to think about where you would like to be one, five and ten years from now.

2. Once you’ve determined that, create a roadmap for how to get there. Set some deadlines for achieving those goals.

3. Take action and set out on your course today.

Believe me when I say the world belongs to those who make it theirs, and there is no reason why you shouldn't make it yours.

This Is Our Moment

It was truly amazing to see Barack Obama officially become President of the United States. What was even more amazing than having an African-American become the first president of the United States was to see millions of people of all races, ages, and geographic locations pack the National Mall and other places nationwide to celebrate this historic milestone. It definitely says a lot about our country to have so many non-blacks cheering for an African-American man and to see him as their hope, the country's best chance to get back on track and to move forward. To me, President Obama's greatest victory wasn't winning the election to become the first African-American president of the US. Rather, it is in unifying us and helping us understand that our united values as Americans is much more important than any of our individual desires. He has made us believe in the we and foresake the me and even more important he made millions of Americans place more emphasis on the content of his character than the color of his skin.

While Dr. King foretold this moment 40 years ago, I don't believe that even he imagined the enthusiasm and heartfelt emotion that is being felt nationally and internationally about President Obama's election and inauguration. And while we celebrate this momentous occasions, let's not forget this all started with Dr. King's dream because it reminds us just how important it is to dream and believe the impossible never knowing it not possible.

I felt really proud today because I witnessed the greatness and beauty of America. The ability of our country to always reinvent itself and elect the right person at the right time. On this day, there is no doubt that despite our racial, age and geographic differences, we stand behind President Obama and are a united country. To America, I say this is our moment. Let's use it wisely!

Obama: Letter To My Daughters and America's Children

'What I Want for You — and Every Child in America'
By President-elect Barack Obama
Publication Date: 01/14/2009




Cover Photo By Kwaku Alston/Corbis
Barack and Michelle Obama with daughters Sasha, 7, and Malia, 10.

Next Tuesday, Barack Obama will be sworn in as our 44th President. On this historic occasion, PARADE asked the President-elect, who is also a devoted family man, to get personal and tell us what he wants for his children. Here, he shares his letter to them.


Dear Malia and Sasha,

I know that you've both had a lot of fun these last two years on the campaign trail, going to picnics and parades and state fairs, eating all sorts of junk food your mother and I probably shouldn't have let you have. But I also know that it hasn't always been easy for you and Mom, and that as excited as you both are about that new puppy, it doesn't make up for all the time we've been apart. I know how much I've missed these past two years, and today I want to tell you a little more about why I decided to take our family on this journey.

When I was a young man, I thought life was all about me-about how I'd make my way in the world, become successful, and get the things I want. But then the two of you came into my world with all your curiosity and mischief and those smiles that never fail to fill my heart and light up my day. And suddenly, all my big plans for myself didn't seem so important anymore. I soon found that the greatest joy in my life was the joy I saw in yours. And I realized that my own life wouldn't count for much unless I was able to ensure that you had every opportunity for happiness and fulfillment in yours. In the end, girls, that's why I ran for President: because of what I want for you and for every child in this nation.

I want all our children to go to schools worthy of their potential-schools that challenge them, inspire them, and instill in them a sense of wonder about the world around them. I want them to have the chance to go to college-even if their parents aren't rich. And I want them to get good jobs: jobs that pay well and give them benefits like health care, jobs that let them spend time with their own kids and retire with dignity.

I want us to push the boundaries of discovery so that you'll live to see new technologies and inventions that improve our lives and make our planet cleaner and safer. And I want us to push our own human boundaries to reach beyond the divides of race and region, gender and religion that keep us from seeing the best in each other.

Sometimes we have to send our young men and women into war and other dangerous situations to protect our country-but when we do, I want to make sure that it is only for a very good reason, that we try our best to settle our differences with others peacefully, and that we do everything possible to keep our servicemen and women safe. And I want every child to understand that the blessings these brave Americans fight for are not free-that with the great privilege of being a citizen of this nation comes great responsibility.





Sasha (l) and Malia Obama at play in New Hampshire in 2007.





Bumper cars at the Iowa State Fair in August 2007.


That was the lesson your grandmother tried to teach me when I was your age, reading me the opening lines of the Declaration of Independence and telling me about the men and women who marched for equality because they believed those words put to paper two centuries ago should mean something.

She helped me understand that America is great not because it is perfect but because it can always be made better-and that the unfinished work of perfecting our union falls to each of us. It's a charge we pass on to our children, coming closer with each new generation to what we know America should be.

I hope both of you will take up that work, righting the wrongs that you see and working to give others the chances you've had. Not just because you have an obligation to give something back to this country that has given our family so much-although you do have that obligation. But because you have an obligation to yourself. Because it is only when you hitch your wagon to something larger than yourself that you will realize your true potential.

These are the things I want for you-to grow up in a world with no limits on your dreams and no achievements beyond your reach, and to grow into compassionate, committed women who will help build that world. And I want every child to have the same chances to learn and dream and grow and thrive that you girls have. That's why I've taken our family on this great adventure.

I am so proud of both of you. I love you more than you can ever know. And I am grateful every day for your patience, poise, grace, and humor as we prepare to start our new life together in the White House.



Love, Dad

Mom Teaches Toddler To Strip

I can hardly believe we’re already 12 days into 2009 and the nonsense continues. I came across the video below today and am just saddened by the things some parents do. What parent teaches a toddler how to strip on a pole? Now please tell me why at this stage of her life it is more important that she learn how to use a pole than her ABCs? We have to do better and it’s time for those of us who are tired of this nonsense to stand up and be heard and to speak out on behalf of our children.

Either this parent is so obsessed with fame that she believes putting this on youtube will garner so many hits that some one may offer her a TV show (after all isn’t this the hope of most of the people on youtube) or worst, she thinks this is cute, acceptable behavior as a parent. Either way, it’s pitiful. This year parents let’s please try to do better. Just because Barack Obama became president doesn’t mean our community doesn’t still have issues that we need to try to resolve. Remember our kids are our most valuable asset. Keep that in mind before we exploit them for the entire world to see. Imagine how your child will feel at 15 or 20 seeing that you have her stripping on a pole. Our children deserve better.

Take Time To Be A Dad Today!

One of the best commercials I've seen both this year and last year is one sponsored by the Adcouncil and Fatherhood.org featuring an African-American father practicing cheers with his daughter. Not only is the commercial hysterical but also cute! It tugs at my heart personally because it reignites the connection I felt with my dad as a child and reminds me of the wonderful memories I have of my dad and all the things we did together.

This commercial is wonderful to me because it highlights the beauty of fatherhood in a simplistic way and reminds us as a society that fathers play a necessary and critical role in the development of our children. This is imperative for us to understand because the role of fathers, no matter how you slice it, has been devalued by our society. The commercial makes clear that fatherhood is not so much about the big things but that small moments can, and often, do impact children. I also love this commercial because it shows a father with his daughter. Often times, particularly in the African-American community, we focus so much on how our sons need the involvement of their fathers but little is said about the fact that our daughters need them too. This commercial illustrates the impact fathers can also have on their daughters.

I salute the work that Fatherhood.org is doing to rebrand the image of fatherhood in our society and to encourage men to get involved in the lives of their children. The truth is we need good, caring fathers who understand that fatherhood is a privilege and a blessing. I've posted the commercial below and I encourage you to pass it along, get involved in organizations like Fatherhood.org and continue to emphasize the vital role fathers play in our children's lives.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! The New Year is always a perfect time to begin anewn and make resolutions about what to accomplish in the new year. I have found over the years, however, that the best way to ensure success is to think about what you want to accomplish, write your goals down and then every day take some action that moves you in the direction of achieving your goals. This year make a plan to succeed. The world truly is your oyster and success belongs to those who go get it!