McCain Makes Brillant Move

This past week John McCain made a very smart strategic move in selecting Alaskan Governor, Sarah Palin as his vice presidential pick. Without doubt, McCain’s selection pits the hopes of black people against the hopes of white women with the only logical consequence: someone loses.

The Palin pick serves to not only shore up John McCain’s Republican base but it also tries to reach out to disenchanted Hillary Clinton supporters. My only hope is that many Hillary voters won’t fall for it. I understand the anger many of them feel. But it is hard for me to understand how they could believe that Sen. Barack Obama, who won the most delegates, the most states and who, well just won, stole anything!

I acknowledge that the news media was a bit biased against Hillary. But it was only because Sen. Obama was the new kid on the block. It’s no different than what the media is doing now with Gov. Palin? The media is enthralled by this gun toting, fishing, mom with five kids who beat out the likes of Mitt Romney to be selected as VP.

In the end, I think the anger over the Democratic nomination of Barack Obama speaks volumes about America. The emotion is so intense because many simply aren’t certain that America will ever be receptive to either a black person or a white woman as president. So for many Hillary and Obama supporters, it’s either now or never. In the end, I hope the Republican’s strategy of conquer and divide doesn’t prevail because after all, in the end, we all lose.

Share your thoughts about Sen. John McCain's VP pick.

America's Promise: Barack Obama Steps Forward

Wow! What a speech Barack Obama gave last night in accepting the Democratic National Convention. There should be no question after last night that Obama has the vision, the courage and the fortitude to lead this country. The speech, I thought, was so good that it was interesting to even hear conservative commentator Pat Buchanan going on and on about how great Obama’s speech was. He say’s “it was the finest” and “it was the greatest convention speech”. Then they had to cut him off to take a break. Now that's change.

Anyway, what did you think about Obama's speech? What was your favorite line? What did it mean to you?

Michelle Obama: A Woman For The Times

I must admit how proud I was listening to Michelle Obama give the keynote address at the Democratic National Convention on Monday night. To see an African-American woman, who has the potential to be first lady of the United States is so surreal. After all, Michelle Obama grew up on the south side of Chicago in a working class family and went on to attend prestigious Ivy League schools. She was a successful corporate attorney, a wonderful wife and a devoted mom. For most African-American women, and women in general for that fact, she is the embodies the American dream. She symbolizes our struggles and our hope. She also symbolizes our pride because on this one day the entire nation got to watch the beauty, the essence, the hope and the struggles of black women. I only hope there will be more days like this to come.

What did you think of Michelle Obama’s speech?

The Bad Apple Awards

The Bad Apple Award Goes to the following individuals involved in the stories below for engaging in derelict behavior.

Mom and Son Rob Gas Stations

I’ve heard of mother/son bonding but I’ve heard it all now. A woman in Wisconsin celebrated her 37th birthday by helping her teenage son rob two gas stations. The mother served as the getaway driver while her 17 year old son robbed the stations at gun point and her 13 month old daughter and two boys—ages 10 and 14 were also in the car. Yeah and we wonder why our youth are having issues.

Texas Man Denies Teaching Kids To Perform At Sex ClubA man in Tyler, Texas has been accused of starting a kindergarten where children as young as 5 learned to have sex with each other and were given Vicodin-like “silly pills” to help them perform. The man, prosecutors say, ran a swinger’s club where prosecutors say the children performed for paying audiences. Ok. I have to ask because I know you’re wondering. Where in the heck where the kids parents?

12 Year Old Drives Mom To Bar
Not sure what’s happening in Texas this wee but a Texas mom was jailed last week with child endangerment after her 12-year old daughter was stopped by police for speeding. The girl told officers she had just dropped her mom off at a bar. Good job mom. This is responsible parenting.

Black Kids Paddled More Than Whites

Last year a quarter million students received some form of corporal punishment. What’s even more interesting is that blacks, American Indians and kids with disabilities received a disproportionate share of the punishment according to a recent study released by the Human Rights Watch group.

While most states have banned corporal punishment, 21 other states have not and it remains a common practice in Texas, Mississippi, Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Tennessee, Oklahoma, Louisiana, Florida and Mississippi. Of special note is the study found the following:

-black girls were paddled more than twice as often as white girls
-boys are three times as likely to be paddled as girls
-Special education kids were more likely to be paddled


What can you do if you live in a state where paddling is legal:

1. Contact and/or lobby your legislators to make it illegal or to at least give parents rights in cases where a child has been paddled and severely injured or in violation of parents rights. As it stands, right now many states where corporal punishment is allowed, teachers and principals generally have legal immunity from assault laws according to the study.

2. File a form on file with your child’s school and school district requesting the school not to paddle your child.

3. Network and partner with other parents who are against corporal punishment to form an alliance to develop solutions to the issue of corporal punishment.

4. Volunteer in your child’s school. It is my belief that children who have parents are involved in the schools are less likely to be paddled. If you’re a parent who is unable to volunteer, then find a way to constantly communicate with your child’s teacher such as via email. I believe teachers are less likely to paddle students where the teacher has a good relationship with the parent.


What do you think? Do you think paddling should be illegal in the US?

When Parenting Goes Wrong Part II

We've all seen the When Parenting Goes Horribly Wrong video by now. This video has generated so much outrage throughout the country. Many of you have asked that the video be turned over to Division of Family Services, that the parents be charged with child abuse or child neglect or receive a good old fashion beat down. For those of you who feel that way, don't worry the people at BlackBottom.com and Love USA are trying to get to the bottom of this video and I will keep you posted once I learn more about their efforts.

Nevertheless, there is no doubt that this video is shameful. On one level this is at best a parenting issue. On another level, it does speak to a societal issue. The video concerns me not only because of the dancing but also because it highlights to me that the children as young as the ones in the video are learning terrible things about themselves and each other. The little girl: that one way to get attention is to gyrate, hump and act inappropriately, and the little boy: to treat her like nothing more than a sex object.

So the question becomes what's next? How do we as a community stop encouraging this behavior. Speak out! I want to know your thoughts.

When Parenting Goes Horribly Wrong Part I

I’m sorry. Enough is Enough. I came across this video entitled: When Parenting Goes Horribly Wrong on blackbottom.com, a sort of black you tube site created by a friend of mine. What were the parents of these children thinking? I know people think it’s cute when their kids are able to do the latest dances but this is ridiculous. There is simply nothing cute about having a child bump and grind in a very video vixen manner while being groped in places she shouldn’t. Also, there is nothing cute, funny or special about having your young daughter hump the ground and rub up against a young boy in this manner. As one person said, "how are thing going to "change" for us - I don't need to see the future - our future is right there (sadly) on the ground gyrating with all the loud music, grinding, and laughing."

Come on parents these are kids. Let’s do better. Our children deserve better. Get your kids out of the television. Stop them from watching MTV, BET and the videos and exposing them to this nonsense. There is nothing sexy or cute about what’s in this video.


Once you’ve reviewed it, let me know your thoughts on the video.

Detroit's Jalied Mayor: Lessons In Accountability

What a mess! It just seems that the saga with Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick just continues and is spiraling out of control. I think back a few months ago when Mayor Kilpatrick publicly apologized to his wife and children for his alleged affair with his former chief of staff that was brought to light by the text message scandal, he expressed concern that he had to have an adult conversation with his young sons about the important things they’ve been hearing about him. Well I understand his feelings because I also found myself having to explain to my own 9-year old son some of the hard realities of life when he asked me yesterday why the mayor of our city found himself in jail.

What started out as a simple discussion to explain why, quickly morphed into a difficult teaching moment on responsibility, accountability, and manhood and resulted in me explaining to him the three principles of life as I see it that are essential for not only his success but also his personal growth and development.

1. Accountability. It’s irrelevant to me whether you love or hate Mayor Kilpatrick or think he should resign from office or whether you think he lied under oath. The truth is, as I explained to my son, Mayor Kilpatrick has made some bad decisions. Everyone makes them. My issue, however, is with the mayor’s lack of accountability. I understand there is racism and he has enemies but the bottom line is this is not about them but about him. This is about his behavior, his decision making, and his inability to accept responsibility. He is, after all, the one who may have perjured himself under oath, committed adultery, assaulted the sheriff’s deputy and who left town without permission, which led to him being jailed. Leadership is not only about having a title it is also about our behavior during difficult times. I think accepting some accountability for his behavior and accepting the consequences of his actions would go along way for him right now.

2. Expending Political/Personal Capital and Relationships. I really believe your ability to be effective and accomplish things, whether in corporate America, politics or on the playground, is directly related to your ability to create, develop and sustain effective relationships. If you misuse, abuse, lie or treat people badly or indifferently, you hamper your ability to create effective relationships that you may need to get things done. For as much as there are people in this city and the state who support mayor Kilpatrick, his behavior and his disrespect of various relationships he has with others make it difficult for those people to continuously support him. You have to give your supporters something to believe in and something to fight for on your behalf. If you take the “screw you” attitude, you make it difficult for even those people who want to assist you, to support you.

3. Recognize Life Isn’t Fair. Let's be honest. The world isn’t always fair. Although Mayor Kilpatrick has made some bad decisions, there is an element of race at issue here as well. This story is national news not just because it’s the mayor of a city going to jail but also because it’s an African-American mayor of what many in America believe to be a failing city that epitomizes and represents the struggles inherent in black America. The entire situation reinforces stereotypes and negative perceptions about black America and, more importantly, black men. Because of these types of perceptions and misconceptions, it’s important, especially as an African-American men, that our sons work harder, be smarter and always be conscious of the images they portray whether they like being in that position or not.

What’s interesting is my 9 year old son seemed to get it and asked lots of questions about accountability and responsibility. Even so, I realize these lessons aren’t taught in a day but will be the source of conversations for years to come. I just wondered, however, after my son walked away what U.S. Rep. Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick ,( D-MI) and the mayor’s mother, who also represents the citizens of Detroit, taught her son growing up because he doesn’t seem to get it.


Kim Crouch
http://www.kimcrouch.com/

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Subtle Shades of Beyonce

What’s up with the latest L’Oreal ad featuring Beyonce? Is it me or does Beyonce look two shades lighter and seem to be channeling Michael Jackson? While I tend to take L’Oreal at its word that it didn’t alter Beyonce’s skin tone in the ad, as an African-American woman and a mom, I am concerned about the underlying impression the ad may symbolize in the larger societal context about the notion of beauty. After all, women, especially African-American women, have fought hard to redefine the so-called American standard of beauty that often fails to recognize the unique features of our culture and of average everyday women.

So I hope that the L’Oreal ad is an honest mistake or the result of bad lighting. After all, in this era, where marketing campaigns like the Dove Real Women campaign speak to the real essence of women by highlighting that beauty is not about physical features but about one’s spirit, character traits, personality and being happy in one’s own skin, it’s important not to undermine that message or notion of beauty because our daughters and our sons, for that matter, need to know women are beautiful just because they are.

Are Women To Blame For Men's Bad Behavior

Yes, you heard me. I did ask if women are to blame for men’s bad behavior. I know on first glance many of you may have gotten offended and immediately said no. But the truth is, we need to have an honest conversation starting today about what’s happening in our communities, our lives and with us. I’ve heard too many conversations this past week from women complaining about black men and their scandalous ways. The truth is there are plenty of men (both black and white and women for that fact) that are scandalous and down right trifling. I can’t disagree on that. But what I always find missing from the conversation is the recognition of the role that we, as women, play in helping to create these “dogs” and/or in the perpetuation of the bad behavior exhibited by these men.

Every thing in this world takes two: it takes two to cheat, two to make a baby, two to argue, and on and on. But most women, tend to only focus on the one of us: the man. But it’s time that we start to accept our responsibility for the role we play in allowing this “bad behavior” to continue. So from this day forward, I ask that when you talk about what men are doing, ask yourself what role are you playing in contributing to this behavior. So what can you do?

1. Set some standards. If a man doesn’t treat you the way you deserved to be treated. Let him go. I know easier said than done but the truth is there are at least 4 billion people in this world and there is someone out there that can treat you the way you feel you deserved to be treated.

2. Find your own man. If you’re cheating with a married man or with a man who has another girlfriend, stop doing so. Regardless of what the man says about his wife or girlfriend not treating him well, the truth is this is not your problem to fix. A man who cheats with you will also cheat on you. What’s worst is that you’ve help create the behavior in men which you proclaim to dislike. You can’t scream about men being dogs and then cheat with them. No that just doesn’t work.

3. Raise your daughters to understand the value of looking for and building a life with a good man and teach your sons to understand the importance of being a good man. Too many of our youth, equate the value of a man to his sexual promiscuity or his bling. None of this equates to worth. Rather, good men are ones who respects women and understand the importance of raising and being a part of the life of his children. A good man is also one who understands the role he plays in helping to shape our community.


What are your thoughts? Do you think women are a big cause for men’s bad behavior? Do you think women fail to recognize they have a shared responsibility for the behavior of men?

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