Are Your Kids Broken?

Oprah Winfrey’s interview with singer Whitney Houston was one of the best interviews I’ve ever seen. Houston’s revelations of drug use, infidelity and the struggles she had endured over the last several years were riveting. Despite all those revelations, the most memorable part of the interview for me came near the end of a very emotional performance when she sung: “I got through all the pain … I didn’t know . . .My momma said I was not built to break.”

Houston’s interview and performance made clear that even though she had hit rock bottom, she weathered those trials due to the love and support of family and friends. In fact, she spoke warmly several times about her mom’s undying love. As proof, Houston discussed a time when her mother, Cissy Houston, showed up at her home after drug rehab failed, with the police and a court order and gave her an ultimatum: go to jail or get help. But either way, Houston noted, her mom informed her she refused to lose her.

While the love and support of Houston’s family and friends were an important factor in her recovery, it showed me the importance of not giving up on our children. During that time, Houston acknowledges she seemed unreachable and it would have been easy for Houston’s mom to let her go. After all, most of us had already deemed Houston a lost cause.

And while I’m so happy that Houston made it through, her story shows not only the critical role parents play in the lives of their children, but also how disposable many of our children have become, especially the “difficult ones.” A lot of our children lose their way and never recover because there is no one to stand and fight for them. No one is there to help them realize their own strength or to tell them they weren’t built to break. Instead, we tell them the opposite, and they are prematurely and summarily disposed of by parents, schools, institutions, the church and society as a whole simply because they are struggling, too difficult, problematic and/or aren’t who we want them to be.

But if we truly believe that the children represent our future, we have to stand and fight for them. Even more, we got to represent all our youth even those who have lost all hope, those who are constantly in trouble and may have had contact with the penal system, and even those who find themselves in the gray areas of life, not knowing what capacity they have.

Truthfully, Houston was lucky. She had a great support system in her family and some close friends who refused to give up on her. And despite some dark times, she recovered. Unfortunately, so many others never do. The Lesson from Houston: Learn your own strength. You weren’t built to break.

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