Who Cares About Marriage?

I couldn’t possibly be the only person who believes marriage is a worthy institution these days. But, I am starting to feel precisely that. In the recent issue of Jet, I read an article with singer Jill Scott, who is expecting her first child with her fiancée. I love Jill Scott and have found her to be an inspiration to women. However, what was fascinating about the story was to read Jill Scott say that she and her fiancée planned to get married but once she got pregnant they’ve decided to take things slow because you can’t do too many things at one time such as get married and have a baby and that they may or may not get married.

What? Maybe it’s me but it would seem that if two people were already planning to get married and then they learn they are expecting they would push up the marriage not put it off or cancel it totally. I wish I could say this attitude was only limited to some Hollywood person but I've read article after article with people, especially those of color, saying the same things. I've also talked to countless friends who share the same beliefs to know that this attitude regarding marriage is a growing trend. It would be easy for me to write this off as the modern view of marriage but I am starting to believe it really speaks to more of a core belief about what we value.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not a self righteous person who believes that marriage is the holy grail but I have started to become extremely concerned about the casual nature and the dismissiveness of how people speak about marriage. Many people have a take it or leave it attitude. I think our society is sending the wrong message to our kids. Consider it old fashioned of me, but in an era where the family in our communities are being decimated, I think we need to refocus on the concept of marriage and not treat it as something that is outdated.

As a mother, I am particularly concerned about societal’s attitudes about marriage because I think we are reinforcing to our kids that good family structures are ones that don’t include the concept of marriage and I simply do not know how with that attitude we can ever expect to rebuild the family structures in our communities.