Why Don't We Love All Our Kids

It’s interesting to me how our community separates the “good” kids from the “bad” ones. Lately, I’ve been thinking about a youth I met a while ago named Tony, who came to one of my seminars along with his mom. I could tell he was a troubled kid when he approached me and his mom asked if I could take a few moments out of my day to talk to him. She was at her wits end and didn’t know were to turn for help.

I pulled Tony aside at his mom requested. Initially, like most kids, who only do stuff because their parents want them to, he was very hesitant. After all, he had been in trouble so much over the last few years that the only time an adult had a conversation with him was to tell him how terrible he was, how he would never amount to anything if he continued his “bad” behavior or to chastise him.

But after talking to him for about 15 minutes, I began to witness the semblance of a child that I bet many adults had given up on. But I could see he had dreams and desires but didn’t believe them achievable. I could tell that even he had bought into other people’s beliefs about himself that he would never amount to anything. I continued to talk to Tony for a while longer and when he left me he seemed upbeat and happy. Not that much in his life had changed but that someone had listened and told him the world was his oyster if he chose to take it.

It’s been a few months since I had that conversation with Tony but I often wonder how he’s doing and which Tony he remains today: the one who I met initially or the one who emerged. Either way, it got me to thinking about how our society sometimes treat our youth. The truth is we have to love all of our youth not only those who never misbehave and only get As but even those who are D and F students, misbehave and even those who find themselves in the gray areas of life unsure of which road to take.

I acknowledge that it’s difficult to deal with these so-called “problem children” but we must fight for all of our children and teach them they are valuable, they are important and that their lives matter. Too many of our youth are losing hope for their lives not to matter. So I encourage each and everyone to invest or become involved in the life of a child. Give time if you have it and if you don’t have time, give money to organizations that invest in time with children and if you don’t have time or money, give hugs, a 10-minute conversation or whatever you have to give. But it’s important that we all do something because even something little can make a huge difference.